Its a hard lesson to learn and few will choose to do it.Yesterday, I was riding in my car with one of our Fulfill the Call ministry students and he and I began a conversation about cherishing our leaders. One of the themes of this conversation was the way that we show honor and the way that we show appreciation to those we seek to serve.

I told him, one of the hardest lessons to learn for so many people is the lesson of pouring into those who pour into you. Lets face it, to those of us who spend our whole lives on pouring into people, we often do it without any reciprocation, without any encouragement. If you're doing it right, you're exhausting yourself in the process. In fact, if you're doing it right, you may often find that you are constantly thinking of ways to encourage those you're pouring into, teachable moments, hangout times, opportunities for that someone to grow and mature. This takes a lot out of you. The reward is never clear and is seldom given until kingdom comes haha!

Here is the lesson: Pour into those who pour into.

Here's what that looks like: Honor them. Show them respect. Pray for them. Choose them. Hold them in high regard. Serve them. Bear their armor. Love on them. Gain their vision and seek to propel that vision forward. Let no harm come to them. Defend them. Defend their actions and their words. And sometimes, just say thank you.

We can get so self-gratifying and so inward that we forget that the people who are serving us and pouring into us have needs and feelings as well. I've seen this a lot, people being poured into will love only as long as they are getting what they want. What happens when we push that fleshly state down and say "someone has committed to me to help me grow and mature and so I am going to show him or her honor"? I think fulfillment in the community of it all happens. I think it all comes full circle. The relationship is strong and healthy. Its people serving each other. Its balanced and equal. 

It’s a hard lesson to learn and few will choose to do it. Its hard work. It takes you dying to yourself for the sake of others. At the end of the day, though, you will be rich in this space of community and in your relationships between you and your mentor or leader. 

Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds.  ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

This is a story about the shirt. Yea, you read that right. It’s a bit of a love story between me and a shirt at my favorite clothing store, Urban Outfitters. For months now, every time I walk into the store, my eye immediately catches this shirt and I imagine all of the possibilities of outfits that would go with it. For months I’ve wanted it and for months I've denied myself from getting it. I’ve struggled with spending the money. In and out is how it goes and the results are that I never purchase it. I war with myself each time that I am in the store; it’s a serious internal struggle. 

I know that that is pretty surface what I just said but is it? Maybe it’s not about the shirt.

Lately I've been studying a lot of issues concerning my humanity, my human side- the side that leans more flesh than spirit, more carnal than God focused. I've found that deep within myself, there is a war happening. Its not one that’s full of precision bombers ands rockets and guns, and its not the kind we hear often in sermons the war between our flesh and the spirit, but its a war with me. I’m literally warring with myself. My mind is a battlefield that is littered with hidden explosives of emotions and intelligence, know-how and insecurities, hope and deep sorrow, boldness and fear.  

Ok, let me explain it like this: You know those times where you say, "I want to be more confident", and the opportunity presents itself for you to be more confident and your whole soul is screaming, “take your shot, be confident, now's your chance”.... but you don't. You remain afraid. Or how about this one, You want something or you want to be a part of something, and the conversation comes up again just like it has 20 times before and its the perfect opportunity to speak up and say "choose me"...but you don't. You remain silent. Ok, ok, one more. What about the times where you want love reciprocated from a friend or just want to be appreciated in the way that you'd receive it. This time the opportunity never shows up, in fact you go days, months without getting anything from that person. Anger, resentment, bitterness, offense rises up in you...and although you tell yourself not to, you give in to these emotions. You take it...all the while telling yourself no. This is what I like to call warring with yourself. 

When is it time to say I give up, I retreat, I give up on being so engulfed in my mind by all of these thoughts and I just give in to the spirit of God? How do you reach that homeostasis? I'm going to be thinking and posting about this over the next few weeks. Lets see where it takes us...let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment. 

Its a little more than just a shirt.