- a grouping of articles I share with thoughts and lessons for your life -

Stop Wearing Things That Don't Fit

One of the running jokes in my house is when I walk into my closet to find something to wear and yell out, "I need more clothes." No, really, it's funny because if you were to see my closet, you'd realize that I have enough clothes and shoes (I have more shoes than my wife). No only are my clothes hanging but I've got tons folded above and tons more folded in drawers and some spilling out of the laundry basket. What can I say, I love clothes (and shoes). 

Me in late 2014

Here's the thing, I've been working out for the better part of a year now. I've been gaining weight slowly but surely, something I've always struggled with. The clothes that I bought back then don't fit me now. I need more clothes.

But I can't afford to shop. I've got a wife to take care of. Bills that need to be paid. You know, I'm adulting. And that means that I am not always able to go out on a shopping spree. So I have to wear what I've got. Yep, tight fitting, ankle hugging (my joggers were made to hug my ankle so don't judge), waist riders -- I wear them all. I try to make them look good to the outside world but deep down I know I'm uncomfortable. 

My uncomfortableness comes out most at church on Sunday. Have you ever tried lifting your hands in worship and realize if you lift any higher, you'll rip something? Have you ever had to limit your stride because chaffing is happening? HA! Have you ever had redness under your arms because your shirt was so tight, it's literally rubbing and tangling up your armpit hair? I'm telling you it's the worst. I can't freely do what I want because I'm limited and constricted by what I've put on.

You know, so often, this is the case for our lives. We begin to wear things on ourselves that don't fit. Things that others have put on us. Things that were placed on us by circumstance. Things that we picked up because we thought it made us look or sound or be better -- when really, we put it on because everyone else was wearing it. 

You've found yourself in an environment that makes you tense and so you wear a tense attitude when at the core of you, you have a calming nature. You've found yourself in a relationship that has made you feel insecure about who you are when just before dating you were the most confident person. You hold back your opinions because someone told you they weren't valid. You aren't married because he told you that it's just a paper even though it has been a lifelong dream of yours. You've acquiesced to the notion that since you think differently and stand out and have had negative run-ins because of it, you must now be common and fit in. 

Who told you that you weren't beautiful? Who told you that in order to feel good about yourself, you had to put someone down? Who told you that to be loved, you must show off what is fleeting and physical vs permanent and soul carrying? Who told you that you had to wear the idea that you aren't good at your job, at what you do, at what you create, at who you are?

We wear these things. These ideas that don't fit the make-up of our bodies -- the original blue print of who we are.

We wear what friends (or enemies) tell us we should wear and we are walking around uncomfortable in the skin they've put us in. Every horrible word said to you found it's way to the deep places of your soul and sprouted into something small and shallow and masking. And we wear it thinking that what we show as a result is who we are.

It's not.

Stop wearing things that don't fit you. Stop doing things that don't line up with the truths that you know about yourself. Stop letting others decide your identity. 

Give yourself a chance to live free in your space and reconcile that to which God has created you to be. 

Little by little I'm buying bigger clothes. It's taking a while but eventually, I'll be wearing outfits that are so fresh, represent me, and give me the ability to flow free.